Be Confident!

Things You Can Do to Improve Your Self-Confidence

Take charge of your feelings, and start overcoming obstacles.

 “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.” -- Maxwell Maltz

Nobody is born with unlimited self-confidence. If someone seems to have extraordinary confidence, it’s because he or she has worked on training it for years. Self-confidence is something that you learn to build up because the challenging world of business, and life in general, can deflate it.

Visualize yourself as you want to be

Visualization is the technique of seeing an picture of yourself that you are proud of, in your own mind. When we struggle with low self-confidence, we have a poor perception of ourselves that is often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, achieving your goals.

Affirm yourself

We tend to do and behave in accordance with the image of ourselves. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you think and view of yourself.

Affirmation are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly.

Question your inner critic

Some of the harshest comments that we get come from ourselves, via the "voice of the inner critic." If you struggle with low self-confidence, there is a possibility that your inner critic has become overactive and inaccurate. Strategies such as cognitive behavioral therapy help you to question your inner critic, and look for evidence to support or deny the things that your inner critic is saying to you. For example, if you think that you are a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I am a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I am a failure?”

Set yourself up to win

Too many people are discouraged about their abilities because they set themselves goals that are too difficult to achieve. Start by setting yourself small goals that you can win easily.

Once you have built a stream of successes that make you feel good about yourself, you can then move on to harder goals. Make sure that you also keep a list of all your achievements, both large and small, to remind yourself of the times that you have done well. 

Instead of focusing only on “to-do" lists, I like to spend time reflecting on “did-it" lists. Reflecting on the major milestones, projects and goals you’ve achieved is a great way to reinforce confidence in your skills.

Help someone else

Helping someone else often enables us to forget about ourselves and to feel grateful for what we have. It also feels good when you are able to make a difference for someone else.

Instead of focusing on your own weaknesses, volunteer to mentor, assist or teach another, and you'll see your self-confidence grow automatically in the process.

Care for yourself

Self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health and social health. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you hate your physique or constantly have low energy.

Make time to cultivate great exercise, eating and sleep habits. In addition, dress the way you want to feel. You have heard the saying that “clothes make the man.” Build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs.

Create personal boundaries

Learn to say no. Teach others to respect your personal boundaries. If necessary, take classes on how to be more assertive and learn to ask for what you want. The more control and say that you have over your own life, the greater will be your self-confidence.

Shift to an equality mentality

People with low self-confidence see others as better or more deserving than themselves. Instead of carrying this perception, see yourself as being equal to everyone. They are no better or more deserving than you. Make a mental shift to an equality mentality and you will automatically see an improvement in your self-confidence.

Get Things Done  

Confidence is built on accomplishment. If you achieve small and big goals, you're going to feel much better about yourself. It begins with your day-to-day goals, what do you need to accomplish today, and every day this week or three days this week to help meet your goal? If you accomplish the goals you set for every day, chances are you will begin meeting weekly and monthly goals, which brings you in range of your bi-annual and annual goals. Keep in mind that progress is incremental, and big changes do not happen overnight. You're going to feel like you can take a big project, and set an ambitious goal because you believe you can meet it. Set a goal for yourself, and go for it.

Monitor Your Progress

The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is break them into smaller goals and to monitor your progress. Whether you're trying to get promoted, get a better job, get into graduate school, change careers, eat healthier or lose 10 pounds, the best way to know if you're making progress is to monitor it. Try to quantify your accomplishments: the number of applications you're submitting to jobs or graduate schools, what you're eating and how much you're exercising, write down whatever your goal may be. It will help you stay on course, and you will build confidence as you see the progress you're making in real time.

Just Do The Right Thing   

Most confident people live by a value system and make their decisions based on that value system, even when it's hard and not necessarily in their best interest, but in the interest of the greater good. Your actions and your decisions define your character. Ask yourself what the best version of yourself that you aspire to be would do, and do it. Even when it's really hard and it's the last thing you want to do and it means a short-term sacrifice on your part, in the long run you're going to like yourself more and be prouder of who you are.

Exercise   

Besides giving benefits to your health in general, exercising helps memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress and prevents depression. It's harder to be anxious when there is no excess energy to draw upon, and outside of being difficult uncomfortable at times, exercise improves every aspect of your life. So stay active, and create time to take of yourself.

Be Fearless 

Failing isn't your enemy, it's fearing failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're inevitably going to feel like you can't do it. In those moments you have to look inside yourself, and gather every ounce of courage you have and just keep going. Every single wildly successful person has been afraid, and they've kept working and taking risks anyway, because what they are trying to accomplish is more important and urgent than their fear they will fail. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then put your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.

Stand-up For Yourself   

When your goal, project, etc. is in its early stages, and someone says that your goal is stupid, or that you can not do it, it's tempting to believe them because they're joining the chorus of doubts inside your head. Logically you think, "How can I be right when this person and all these doubts in my head are telling me I can't do this? That this idea is stupid." And you have to tell those people, especially the voices in your head, that they're wrong. You have it in you, so tell them you believe in your goal, you believe in yourself, so you're going to accomplish it.

Be Committed 

People respect people when they say they're going to do something and they do it. More importantly, you will respect yourself if you say you're going to do something and you do it, and belief in yourself will come easier, because you know you are not afraid of the work. Action gives your words meaning, and it will help you pave a path to accomplishing your goals, strengthening your relationships and feeling proud of who you are.

Think Long-term 

Big goals require big sacrifices, you have to dig deep and really discipline yourself. In the moment it is tedious and frustrating and makes life significantly harder, but it will pay off, and the pride you feel will be worth it. You have to decide if your short-term comfort is more important than your long-term goals, but know that long-term goals will bring you far more happiness in the long run than your short-term comfort.

Don't Care What Others Think   

There are going to be so many people who will tell you you can not accomplish your goal. Whether is it rejection from employers, schools, or just negative feedback from friends or family, people will try to tell you your goal is too big, or that you're not ready, or that you can't do it, that it's never been done before, etc., and you absolutely can not listen to them. You must be resolute. While they tell you the odds are against you, etc., just remember most people are wrong about most things. People change the world every day, despite everyone around them telling them it can't be done. If you think you can do it, you can it. Don't listen to them, believe in yourself and keep going.

Do More Of What Makes You Happy 

What do you love to do in your spare time? Is it to get outside, hike, kayak and enjoy the outdoors? Or do you live for lying on your couch and watching all the excellent television that's available? Whatever it is you love, create space for it, because life is short- you need time to enrich your life and to recharge to be your best self.